Day 15

In this post again I want to share the personality I allowed ,because I was in living in my mind more then usually…..and parts is because I am moving ….so many things I need to  do….,but with this process I have help …,I mean many friends help me out  with this process of moving …..I find myself be on the edge ,be irritated towards people,  who are really help me .

And this is unacceptable  ,because how  can I be so arrogant  .

What I see I do  not like any changes around me,….,I was comfortable with place I live (..many times I was not appreciate  the way I should)…I had the same job for long time ….and bum this is it ,I have to change the place I live and work.

I see how I sort of accept ,because I do  not have a choice …,but inside of me I am angry and irritated  that I have to  do this.

….o my god poor me have to  move and find different job….,

so  I do  want  to  take responsibility for this energy of arrogance and not appreciate what others do  for me.

1.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to allowed to  be not nice ,to talk with certain tonality to people who are really helping me out with my moving process.

2.I forgive myself to accept  and allowed myself to be angry and irritated towards people,not taking responsibility of my filings ,for wanting to blame someone for the process I have to go thru ,because poor me need to  move my butt.

3.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, fallow my ego to the end ,losing the real physical reality ,to not seeing what is really going on….or to choosing not to see what is going on ,with in me …,but be on the look out  to blame someone , which is abuse towards life ….

4.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself ,to act like small ungrateful  child who wanted her way of life ,because she wanted , she needed , choosing not to consider somebody life , only my interest, being not fair with words I speak and voice tonality I use .

5.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself ,to not be grateful for help I have from people around ,for taking things for granted ,for taking somebody time for granted ,to really look for my self interest , to choose to forget that we are all equal .

6.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself ,to still feed my ego and with in this totally disregard everybody, 

7.I commit myself ,to stop this acting role of spoil child ,to breathe ,to slow down and from this point choose words toward people ,words which I want to here ,if this will be me who receive the words .

8.I commit myself, to stop this spiteful  personality, towards people around only because my life is the way it is ,stop seeing only my problems in my small bubble , but seeing from a perspective treat someone the way you want to be treated .

9.I commit myself to stop this back chat about how unfair  my life is , and seeing that this is ego in full action ,were ego does not see anyone or anything.

10.i commit myself to work with my breath awareness  ,to work with 4 count of breath .

        Thank you for reading !!!